I'm Back!

I can't really remember the last time I blogged because it's been so long.  I'm back and have so much to catch up on.

I'm just about 30 weeks now!  I'm getting big and very uncomfortable.  I'm trying not to complain and be grateful for this experience, but it's so hard when I'm constantly in pain.  It's painful to walk and my legs and stomach are constantly cramping, not to mention my heartburn and acid reflux have been unbearable.  It's made holiday shopping a lot more difficult, but I'm surviving and so happy that I'm pregnant right now.

On a good note, the pregnancy is going very well.   And I'm not sure if I mentioned we are having a GIRL!  I've had, sorry I've lost exact count, approximately 16 ultrasounds or more.  Our baby girl  is growing appropriately and my cervix is holding up.  At my 29 week ultrasound, she weighed about 2 pounds 7 ounces and is measuring in the 40th percentile.  Pretty good for a bicornuate uterus!  She is breech at this time which is common with my condition, so I'm not too worried about it.  She may or may not flip head down, but she needs to soon if she's going to because she is running out of room.  We attempted a 3d ultrasound last week, but it was a complete fail.  Because of her frank breech position, they weren't able to see her face with her legs were up over her head, plus she had her head right on the placenta.  That was a little disappointing, but the most important thing right now is she is healthy! 

I also had my first baby shower 2 weeks ago!  It was a great time and I got so much stuff for the baby.  It was unbelievable.  Her nursery is almost complete now, before my 32 week target!  I keep having dreams that the baby is coming around 31 or 32 weeks.  Hopefully I'm wrong, but I keep having this feeling that she is coming early.  I had a goal that I wanted everything to be ready at 32 weeks.  I still have a few more things I need, but we are mostly ready :)

Lilly and me at 25 weeks.  Oh my!

16 Weeks and First Weekly Ultrasound

This past Wednesday was our first weekly cervical length ultrasound.  To our surprise, the doctor had also ordered a full scan of the baby.  We were excited to get to see the baby again. :) The baby was very active but she calmed down after awhile so we could get some good shots of her.  We could see her various organs in pretty good detail for a 2D ultrasound, including her kidneys, heart, brain, etc.  Chuck surprised me and showed up at the ultrasound.  It's difficult for him to be there every week because of where he is working right now, but it was a pleasant surprise to have him there to see the baby with me.  Everything looked good with my uterus, cervix, and the baby :)  Right now they are mainly concerned about cervical incompetence, so they measure the length of the cervix every week and see if it's shortening.  If it looks to be changing too much, they will put what they call a cervical cerclage in, which is basically a stitch.  It will help to prevent pre-term labor and keep the baby in there growing longer!  I will post some new pics shortly.

First OB Appointment and 15 Weeks

Believe it or not, I am now 15 weeks, and this is the first time we actually met the OB, Dr. B,  that will most likely be delivering our baby.  The appointment went great and he really has put me at ease about a lot of my fears.  Unfortunately, there still are a lot of risks but he made me feel better that they will be closely monitoring and doing any bit of prevention possible.  The biggest risk is preterm labor, so they will be doing weekly cervical length measurement ultrasounds until 26 weeks.  So I will get to see my baby every week!  After that I will see the doctor every week to check the cervix.  At this point it looks like I will be getting to know the staff in the office pretty well, I'm going to be there a lot!  He also said most women deliver 32 weeks or after with a bicornuate uterus, so that made me feel a lot better also.  He was very informative and had a great personality also.  The other good news is I also was released off of pelvic rest for now and can work out lightly!  I feel like we made the right decision in the practice we chose and I know our baby is in the best hands possible.

14 Weeks

Yesterday I was officially 14 weeks!  I can't believe it.  I had more bleeding last week and the office had me come in to have a heartbeat check.  It took them a minute (which felt like a lifetime) to find the heartbeat, but they found a nice strong one, with a rate between 149 and 160.  I'm still on continued pelvic rest, which also means no working out.  I've been bummed about my limited activities, but I know it's all worth it for my beautiful baby.  I'm not really showing a whole lot yet, just a small bump not much different than my last photo.  I definitely can feel the weight gain though!  And the limited activity rule is not making things much better, but I shouldn't be complaining.  I have another doctor's appointment this week and next and my next u/s will probably be in 2 weeks.  I can't wait to see our baby again, I miss her already!

Ultrasound #4

I have to say this has been one of the best weeks I've had in awhile, despite the little complications I've had with the baby.  We had an ultrasound on Tuesday and found out the baby is doing really well, with a great heartrate.  Baby measured a little smaller than we thought 11 weeks 6 days, but that's only a few days short of what we expected.  I have continued to bleed a little and the doctor explained to me that is what happens with a bicornuate uterus.  They could see spots where they thought the bleeding was coming from on the other half of the uterus.  He pretty much said I'd bleed the whole pregnancy, I thought pregnancy meant I would get out of that!   Oh well, all worth it.  The important thing is our baby is beautiful and perfect right now.

12 Weeks and Tough, Sad Days

Yesterday was a tough day in a number of ways.  I started the day earlier than usual to go into work.  As I was standing in the kitchen after I woke up, I felt a gush of something.  I honestly thought I had peed in my pants.  I ran to the bathroom, and to my surprise there was red blood everywhere, it was all over my shorts and panties and also filling the toilet.  I panicked and started to scream.  I couldn't believe this was happening. I thought it was a dream.  Chuck ran into the bathroom and we both started to cry.  I don't think either of us knew what to do, we were both in such a panic. I was shaking as I tried to get dressed, then we both jumped in the car and headed to the emergency room.  We were both in tears and very quiet on the way there.  All I kept thinking is how could this be happening, I'm 2 days from my 12 week mark.  Isn't this supposed to be when things like this stop happening.  When we arrived at the hospital, I was so hysterical I could barely talk to the receptionist.  Since I wasn't quite 12 weeks, they made me stay in the ER instead of sending me to the OB unit.  They immediately put me in a bed and took a lot of blood.  The nurses tried to calm me down and reassure me that this is sometimes completely normal and the baby may be perfectly fine.  After we waited for what seemed like forever, the doctor came in and did an exam and ultrasound.  When we saw our perfect little baby with the little heart beating strongly, I was immediately in tears.  In tears of relief.  The doctor said the baby's movement and heartbeat were good and the cervix was closed.  The baby measured 11 weeks and 5 days, exactly on track.  They couldn't tell me where the bleeding came from.  It could have been the vanishing twin, it could have been the bicornuate uterus, or sometimes they say it just happens possibly from a tear somewhere.  So though I was relieved to see our baby, I was still worried about not knowing what caused this.  The doctor said I had a 98% chance of having a very normal pregnancy and baby.  The hospital sent me home with a diagnosis of a threatened miscarriage and papers on how to deal with a miscarriage, that just made me feel worse.  I'm a nervous wreck right now, so please keep our baby in your prayers.
I talked with my doctor, which will definitely be the high risk office now.  They reassured me again this might not be a concern and some women bleed through their entire pregnancy.  I was told to drink 3 liters of water a day, stay on bed rest this weekend, and no more working out.  I was trying to work out to keep my weight stable and not gain too much, so much for that.  But I don't care right now, if I can have a healthy baby I will worry about the weight later.  I have an ultrasound pic I will post shortly.
I also said goodbye to my best friend's grandma yesterday.  It was so extremely sad, she was one of the most amazing women I ever knew.  She was so incredibly strong and such a sweet little lady.  I love my friend and her family so much, they are such wonderful people and will continue to be in my thoughts and prayers.

Almost 11 Weeks and Still Not Decided on an OB

I'm still fighting with myself as to whether or not I need a high risk OB.  I really like my current OB, but I'm not sure if I'm 100% comfortable continuing with him.  Everything I read and everyone I talk to who has had a septum resection or/and bicornuate uterus, visits a high-risk practice.  The Tri-State MFM group in Good Sam Hospital has been highly recommended to me.  I did a little research and found that they specialize in uterine anomalies and also surgical complications.  I'm wondering why I'm not seeing a practice that specializes in my condition(s).  My surgery can lead to an incompetent cervix and also uterine wall rupture, all of which this practice would be specialized to handle.  Plus they deliver and care out of a much better hospital, one in which I would feel much more comfortable.
When I called to make an appointment with my current OB, they couldn't get me in for 5 weeks.  Now before that I was seeing someone for bi-weekly ultrasounds, 5 weeks just seems too long to me and it makes me leery of the specialized care I would receive.  But another voice in me tells me to go to my current OB first and discuss the plan before jumping to conclusions.  What I think I'll end up doing those is making an appointment with the high-risk practice to see if my condition even warrants me a patient in their practice.

Amazing Strength

I have to say I have been watching the new episodes of Giuliana and Bill and Giuliana is such an amazing person.  I so much admire her strength.  She suffers the internal infertility pain everyday, but stays so strong even when having to go face to face with her hurt everyday in her job and personal life.  I don't know if I could ever be that strong.  I love her positivity and amazing personality.  I read in an interview the show gave her a choice whether or not she wanted to document her infertility journey.  They told her that she could just say that she didn't want children.  Bill and Giuliana chose otherwise they wanted to document the realities of infertility.  She said it didn't feel right not showing the real side of life.  Here's a quote from the interview:

Giuliana Rancic: I understand that we’re all entitled to our private lives, but at the same time we really did see the value, early on, in sharing our story. And we realized that all of these women in Hollywood in their thirties and forties are running around with twins and saying, “Oh, twins run in the family.” They’re not revealing the real story and all of these women out there who can’t get pregnant feel like, “what’s wrong with me?” So I thought we had to show this. Let’s share with people that when a couple is having fertility issues, let’s make people feel better about themselves. It’s worked, because not a day goes by where people don’t come up to me and say, “Thank you so much for sharing your story.”

I know I always felt better watching them and the realities of the situation.  It always helped me to cope a little better knowing I wasn't the only one.  I wanted her strength.  They are such an amazing couple and I hope so much for them they can bring their little bambino or bambina into this world very soon.

Baby Bump

Yes I already have a baby bump at 9 weeks.  Not sure if that's a good or bad thing ;)  Obviously, I'm sure it's more bloat than baby right now.